12 Rules for Being Myself (How about you?)

The New Year is upon us and we will all resolve to do something different in our lives.  As we reflect on our year, have we fulfilled our resolutions or are they just empty words and wishes?  Admittedly, I’m guilty as charged and freely admit my shortcomings.  However, this New Year I plan on being different.  How?  I will constantly and consistently work on my behaviors and have accountability partners to help me live authentically, passionately, and positively spirited for my family, loved ones and those I serve.  How will you be different?

As a leader, as a human being, it is very important to understand you and to be yourself. Trying to be something different than your authentic self is a huge waste of everybody’s time and, more importantly, the person you are.  Embrace the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  And above all, be true to YOU – if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. If you are not true to you, you will not be true to others and where is the joy in that?

Starting today I will (and hope that you do too)...

1. Get my priorities straight. – Five years from now it won't really matter what automobile I drive today, how much money is in the bank, or how many friends I have on social media sites. What will matter is how I treated others, how I loved, what I learned and how I applied this knowledge in my relationships.
2. Be who I was born to be. – I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have lived only the length of it. I also want to live the width of it. When it comes to living as a passionate and inspired person, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else's shoes, is learning to walk a lifetime comfortably in my own.  I will follow my heart, and take my brain with me. When I am truly comfortable in my own skin, not everyone will like me, and that is truly OK.  
3. Take full responsibility for my goals. – If I really want good things in my life to happen, I have to make them happen myself.  I can't sit around and hope that somebody else will help me; I have to make my own future and not think that my destiny is tied to the actions and choices of others.
4. Know my worth. – When someone treats me like I am just one of many options, I will help them narrow their choice by removing myself from the equation. Sometimes I have to not care, no matter how much I do. Because sometimes I can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to me. It's not pride – it's self-respect. I don't expect to see positive changes in my life if I surround myself with negative people. I will not give part-time people a full-time position in my life.  It is very important to know my value and what I have to offer, so I will never settle for anything less than what I deserve.
5. Stand up for MYSELF. – I am here to be ME, not to be what someone else wants me to be. I will stand up for myself, look them in the eye, and say, “Don't judge me until you know me, don't underestimate me until you challenge me, and don't talk about me until you've talked to me.”
6. Choose the right perspective. – Perspective is everything. When faced with difficult job situations, team members, traffic jams, or waiting an hour past my appointment time, I have two choices: I can get frustrated and enraged, or I  can view it as life's way of giving me a guilt-free breather from rushing, and spend that time dreaming, conversing, or thinking of serving others. The first choice will raise my blood pressure and be damaging to others. The second choice will raise my consciousness and awareness in making positive choices. 
   
7. Don't let my old problems punish my dreams. – I am learning to let go of things I can't control. The next time I am tempted to rant about a situation that I think ended unfairly, I am going to remind myself of this: I'll never kill off my anger by beating the story to death. So I will close my mouth, unclench my fists, and redirect my thoughts, emotions and actions. When left untended, the anger will wither, and I'll be left to live in peace as I grow toward a better future.
8. Choose the things that truly matter and ACT upon those. – Some things just don't matter much – like the kind of car I drive. How big of a deal is that in the grand scheme of my life? Nada. But lifting a person's heart? Now, that matters. The whole problem is we KNOW what matters, but we don't CHOOSE it. We get distracted and don't put first things first. The hardest and smartest way to live is choosing what truly matters, and pursuing it passionately.  Now, let’s go back to those unresolved resolutions and think about what truly matters so we can change our behavior to act upon them.
9. Accept my strengths and weaknesses. – I am confident being ME. We often waste too much time comparing ourselves to others, and wishing to be something we're not. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when we accept everything we are, and aren't, that we are able to become who we are capable of being.
10. Learn from others, and move on when I must. – I can't expect to change people. Either I accept who they are, or I start living my life without them. Some people come into my life as blessings; others come into my life as lessons or both.
11. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. – Life as we know it can change in a heartbeat. Unlikely friendships can blossom, important careers can be tossed aside and a long lost hope can be rekindled. It might feel a little uncomfortable at times, but I know that life begins at the end of my comfort zone. So when I begin feel uncomfortable, I know that the change-taking place in my life is not an ending, but a new beginning.

12. Never give up on MYSELF. – This is my life to shape or someone else will. Strength shows not only in my ability to hold on, but also in my ability to start over. It is never too late to become what I might have been. I will keep learning and growing. I realize that I may not be there yet, but am closer than I was yesterday.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on your journey to your New Year.  Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process that enables the client to reveal and illuminate their authentic style via a sharp focus on who they are at their core.