Wisdom and the Highly Effective Leader - Part 2

 

The truly wise leader begins by understanding their foundational principles, values, morals, "the line in the sand they are not willing to cross" that define their inner self; their identity or ego. This is one's spiritual dimension and it starts with you. To lead well, you have get this dimension right before you can successfully lead others. How you express your personality (through your physical self, your thoughts and emotions) and achieve more effective leadership outcomes, depends on your understanding and wisdom of your 4 dimensions of self awareness.

So, what is wisdom? Richard Rohr and Cynthia Bourgeault, founder and teacher at the Center of Action and Contemplation, put it this way: "Wisdom is clearly more than mere intelligence, knowledge of facts, or information. Wisdom is more synthesis than analysis, more paradoxical than linear, more a dance than a march. In order to grow in wisdom, we need to move beyond cerebral, rational knowing. Wisdom is not knowing more, but knowing with more of you, knowing deeper.”

They have put together a list of “ways of knowing” that together can move leader's toward greater wisdom and leadership effectiveness. Our previous post focused on the first three: Intellect, Emotion and Senses. Here is the last one: Will.

Will (spiritual presence/dimension): is about volitional knowing. It comes from making choices, commitments, and decisions in line with your values, beliefs, morals and foundational principles, and then sticking with them and experiencing them at different stages. Anyone who has made and then kept vows knows what this is. It is a knowing that comes from making intentional choices and the very process of struggling with the choices. This knowing is a kind of cumulative knowing that emerges over time.

The wisdom to know oneself from a spiritual perspective is the most crucial to us leading more authentically and courageously from our true selves. It is the most difficult to describe and develop because it is hidden from our view, unless we take a deep dive into understanding our spiritual dimension and the bases of that dimension on your identity and ego. Think of your spiritual presence in terms of being versus doing. The physical, intellectual and emotional dimensions represent your personality - the external part of yourself that shows up and connects with others. These dimensions represent our "doing."

Awareness of your spiritual dimension takes you from the "doing" into the core of who you are as a human "being." When you still your body, your thoughts and your feelings, what do you find? In those leaders that connect with their inner core, who find their identities in something deeper than their accomplishments and awards, we can detect a quiet and steady strength that shows through in even the most stressful of circumstances.

In leadership, those that follow you are constantly scanning to discern who you really are, what you care greatly about, what your passions and beliefs are about and whether that all fits together in an integrated way. The more consistent the evidence they see of your authenticity and integrity, the greater the chance they will trust you, follow you, and give you their very best.

Let me know your thought by emailing me at brad@aperiocoaching.net

 

Wisdom and the Highly Effective Leader

 

The truly wise leader begins by understanding their foundational principles, values, morals, "the line in the sand they are not willing to cross" that define their inner self; their identity or ego. This is one's spiritual dimension and it starts with you. To lead well, you have get this dimension right before you can successfully lead others. How you express your personality (through your physical self, your thoughts and emotions) and achieve more effective leadership outcomes, depends on your understanding and wisdom of your 4 dimensions of self awareness.

So, what is wisdom? Richard Rohr and Cynthia Bourgeault, founder and teacher at the Center of Action and Contemplation, put it this way: "Wisdom is clearly more than mere intelligence, knowledge of facts, or information. Wisdom is more synthesis than analysis, more paradoxical than linear, more a dance than a march. In order to grow in wisdom, we need to move beyond cerebral, rational knowing. Wisdom is not knowing more, but knowing with more of you, knowing deeper.”

They have put together a list of “ways of knowing” that together can move leader's toward greater wisdom and leadership effectiveness. Here are three:

Senses (physical presence/dimension): Bodily or sensory knowing comes through the senses, by touching, moving, smelling, seeing, hearing, breathing, tasting—and especially at a deep or unconscious level. Becoming aware of our senses in a centered way allows us to awaken, to listen, to connect. It allows us to know reality more deeply, on our body’s terms instead of our brain’s terms. Something very different is communicated and known through physical presence, in contrast with what is communicated through mere words.

Intellect (intellectual presence/dimension): The lens that we most associate with knowing is intellectual knowing. It’s the result of formal education and it has to do with science, reason, logic, and what we call intelligence. Most of us are trained to think that it is the only way of knowing or the superior way of knowing. Yet that isn’t necessarily true. Seeing intellectual intelligence as the best or only way of knowing is actually a great limitation.

Emotion (emotional presence/dimension): Great emotions are especially powerful teachers. Love, ecstasy, hatred, jealousy, fear, despair, anguish: each have their lessons. Even anger and rage are great teachers, if we listen to them. They have so much power to reveal our deepest self to ourselves and to others, yet we tend to consider them negatively. I would guess that people die and live much more for emotional knowing than they ever will for intellectual, rational knowing. To taste these emotions is to live in

Tomorrow I will continue to share Richard's and Cynthia's described additional ways of knowing that can deepen your ability to know and love the world more fully.

Let me know your thought by emailing me at brad@aperiocoaching.net

 

Executive & Leadership Development: Leaders Arise! Tools for Selecting Candidates for ...

Executive & Leadership Development: Leaders Arise! Tools for Selecting Candidates for ...: With today's organizational complexities, challenges and uncertainties impacting individual and collective leadership, the demand for ...

Leaders Arise! Tools for Selecting Candidates for Executive Coaching in your Organization

With today's organizational complexities, challenges and uncertainties impacting individual and collective leadership, the demand for executive coaching is more important today than ever before. So, what's are some of the best ways to prioritize your company's selection of talent receiving coaching.

There is no one-size-fits all approach to designing coaching engagements. Rather, the design, duration, intensity, focus, goals of the coaching engagement should be based on the development needs of the leader, the desired outcomes of the organization, the level of the leader in the organization, and the impact that changed behaviors on the leader's part will have on leadership effectiveness and business performance.

Regardless of what kind of coaching a company offers its executives and other leaders, there are several important factors to consider when evaluating a person's suitability for coaching. Candidates should posses each of the following:

1. Established Track Record of Early and Consistent Success and Leadership Potential

Any leader selected should demonstrate their leadership potential and their ability to adapt and learn, work with others, and deal with challenging business conditions and challenges. Normally, these leaders already have leadership responsibilities and some can be individual contributors who show tremendous promise, who has yet to manage others. Those groomed for higher level of leadership in the near future are also viable candidates.

2. Have Demonstrated Capacity for New Learning

These individuals should possess and show an inclination and enthusiasm for real-time experience learning and lean in to new business challenges that arise. These traits are essential for leadership agility and effectiveness. Agile and resilient leaders tend to challenges the status quo, generate new strategies and plans and embrace learning as a life long goal. Look for leaders who have a thirst for new learning all the time and have an understanding that their development is a journey, not a destination.

3. Embrace Vertical/Adaptive Development

There is a real difference between Horizontal and Vertical/Adaptive development. Horizontal is necessary for sure in adding knowledge and skills that are transmitted by experts and it all about what you think. The difference is that Vertical/Adaptive development is about growing abilities to think, feel and act in complex, systematic and interdependent ways, are earned through life experiences and it is all about how you think. A great way to think about this is the metaphor of the cup and the water. Horizontal development is having an expert fill your cup (your mind) with concepts, techniques and skills. Whereas, vertical development is about growing the size of the cup (your mind) so that there is more capacity and space.

Growing vertically has three conditions: 1) Heat Experiences: leaders grow fastest when they find themselves in situations that create "heat." The criteria for heat is that results matter, chance of success or failure, people are watching and it is very uncomfortable. 2) Colliding perspectives: by surrounding yourself with people who think differently to you and connecting with others outside of your normal network and seeking other people's perspectives about challenges you are facing. 3) Reflection on Experiences: making sense of the experiences you are having, learning new lessons, reconfiguring your values, beliefs and identity.

4. Self Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

Developing oneself as a leader depends a lot on the individual's self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Highly effective leaders are very self aware and realize that to be effective they must work through others to get things done. They embrace their strengths with humility and self-confidence, and acknowledge the strengths and contributions of others. They are vulnerable, decisive, visionary and inclusive. They also realize real power comes one's ability to influence others, to engender trust and respect, and to engage and align others around common objectives, not from formal positional authority. For this reason, look for leaders who have the capacity to grow in their knowledge and awareness of self.

5. Strong Social and Interpersonal Skills

Leaders need to display an ability to work well with a variety of people. They must be able to build connections among individuals with competing goals and agendas and create the spirit of trust, engagement, alignment and camaraderie. Look for leaders who understand the importance of building "social capital" within their sphere of influence, who has shown the ability to build and maintain stakeholder networks and work across departmental or business units. Also, look for individuals who possess a flexible interpersonal style who can adjust their approach with others based on personalities and needs in the moment.

6. Presence

Leadership presence and leading with all of yourself 100% of the time is a fundamental basis of effective leadership. Look for leaders who are highly curious about their presence and developing it. This is about the impact their physical body, intellectual thoughts, their emotions and, finally at core of presence, their identity/foundational values and principles have on their presence and leadership effectiveness.

Developing leaders is never easy, especially when training and development dollars are limited and leadership development needs are growing. To maximize coaching's value, be sure to identify current and emerging leaders to receive coaching, as this will help build your leadership succession and provide for continuous development of new generations of leaders in the future.

Please share your comments here or reach out directly at brad@aperiocoaching.net

Final Lesson - 11 Critical Blunders Salespeople Make & What To Do About Them!

In part one we covered the first six blunders. Here we will conclude on the remaining five. I am repeating my opening paragraphs from Part 1 as they help set the table on this topic.


Over the years, I have observed the blunders of many professionals, including myself, in sales, in all industries in what I call “selling situations;” that is, where they are trying to acquire a new client or account. Although the actual approach may vary, there are many common pitfalls that trap professionals.


Please note these are not in any order and are equally important when considering your techniques, behaviors and attitudes towards selling and creating demand for your products and services that match your qualified prospects challenges, budget and decision making process.


Blunder Seven: They Chat About Everything and AVOID STARTING the Sale Before Doing a Proposal


Situation: Building rapport is necessary and desirable, but all too often the small talk does not end and the "sale qualification" process does not begin.


Result: Unfortunately, the prospect usually recognizes this before the professional and, as such, are in complete control of the conversation. The sales person is so focused on the chatter that the meeting time is over and are back on the street wondering how he or she did with that prospective client.


Solution: Start acting differently. If you act and sound like every others sales person, you will be treated like one. In order to build comfort and rapport with the prospect, face to face communications are the most effective. Why? Because 93% of effective communications comes from body language and matching the prospects tonality. Only 7% comes from the words you use. In phone selling, 83% of effective communication comes from matching the prospects tonality and 17% are the words said.  With E-Mail or texting, a sales person is missing out on 93% of effective communication. Sure e-mails are necessary to document communication and/or send a document to one or multiple people. However, don't use it for selling. Stop selling via e-mail, period!
A sales person begins to build trust from their first interaction. Have the guts to be different from everyone else and remain professional and in control. Remember, with trust, all things being equal, people buy from people they trust. All things not being equal, people still buy from people they trust. Build trust and rapport first.  As one of my friends, Tom Frost said from my first post,


Blunder Eight: They Prefer "MAYBE" Instead of Getting to "NO"


Situation: Prospects are constantly ending the engagement interview with the ever so prevalent "think it over" line, or "we'll be in touch and "you're at the top of our list."


Result: The professional accepts this indecision and even sympathizes with the prospect. It is easier to bring back the message that the prospective client might use the firm's services "sometime in the future," rather than saying this prospect is not a candidate for the firm's services. After all, wasn't it the professional's responsibility to got out and get the prospect to say, "yes?" Getting a prospect to say "no" can also produce feelings of personal rejection or failure.


Solution: Get a backbone! Go for the NO early! You might be saying about now, "if I go for the No, then I won't have sales? No, that's not what I am saying. Find out if your prospect qualifies to get your intellectual property by specifically understanding their emotional challenges or pains, budget and decision making process. Remember how to do that from part 1? Ask great clarifying questions to get to emotional level of the prospect (ask what is going on, how long it has been going on, what have they tried to do about it and did it work? Have they given up on finding a solution? How does that make them feel, really feel?), next find out about budget and then decision making process. Each step along the way is a mutual qualifying or disqualifying event and gives both of you an opportunity to bow out if there is not a fit. Find out if they don't qualify or if you don't qualify then you will have your answer and direction on what to do next.  As from part 1, remember to find out the intent of their wishy-washy statements. You'd rather know now than waste precious time, energy and other company resources chasing phantom opportunities.


Blunder Nine: They See Themselves as BEGGARS instead of DOCTORS


Situation: Professionals don't view their time with a prospective client as being spent conducting an interview to see if the prospect qualifies to do business with their organization.


Result: All too often a "prospect" really remains a "suspect" and never gets to the more qualified level of a prospective client or customer. Professionals often find themselves hoping, wishing and even begging for the opportunity to "just show their expertise" and then maybe a sales will be made. Many of us do this by offering free consulting engagements. This is unlike a physician who examines the patient thoroughly before making a recommendation. A Doctor uses various instruments and questions to conduct an examination of the patient.


Solution: The professional should view questions as the equivalent to the Doctor's instruments and conduct his or her examination of the prospective client. See yourself as a surgeon! Probe, dig, clarify, understand.


Blunder Ten: They Work Without a SYSTEMATIC APPROACH to Selling


Situation:  Professionals find themselves "going with the flow" to make the sale. Their approach has worked in the past, why not now? What happens is that they allow the 
prospect to control the selling process.


Result: Professionals often leave the sales interview without knowing where they are because they do not know where they have been and what the next step is to qualify the prospect and get to the engagement.


Solution: The need to follow a specific systematic sequence and control the steps through the discovery process is vital to the professional's success in acquiring new clients and getting more business from existing ones. There are a number of excellent selling systems and sequences in the market as well as books. Sandler Sales training ~ find a local office in your market, read up: "Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play" by Mahan Khalsa and Randy Illig are a few golden nuggets.
 
Blunder Eleven: THEY LOOK, ACT and SOUND LIKE THEIR COMPETITION


Situation: What happens when the prospective client is faced with professionals who look, act and sound alike in a multiple selection process? How might the prospect make a decision in that situation? By who has the lowest price? Personality? Who knows?


Result: If you act, sound and be like every other sales person trying to get someone's business, you will be treated like everyone else. Prospects will shut you out, they will bend the truth, lie and keep you at arm's length. They also will avoid your questions and they will seek all of your information about your company. They also will keep the conversation intellectual and will remain in complete control of the sales conversation.


Solution: In order to outsell the competition and avoid losing prospects and clients, the professional needs to develop an approach to selling their firm's services that differentiates from the competition and that is more effective in overcoming the prospects situation. Developing a questioning strategy looking for a prospects "pain" is the most effective approach rather than playing some form of "show and tell". Pain is the underlying emotional reason people do things. People make buying decisions emotionally and justify those decisions intellectually. Get your prospects to pick up their paint brush and paint their picture for you. That way they own it!
 
Most sales people are taught the QPC strategy to sales. Q=Qualify, P=Present your Solution, C=Close the sale. It is out dated and puts too much pressure on both you and the prospect. With a small, yet dramatic change to this formula to: QCP, you'll close more opportunities. It is a profound shift in thinking and in your strategic selling approach.


Bonus for reading this far. There is one more to add to this list that most people miss completely.


Blunder Twelve: They do not FEEL Comfortable or Know How to Properly Ask for Referrals and Personal Introductions


Situation: Most professionals either do not ask for referrals or who completely stumble through the process of asking for referrals and personal introductions. They have all this head trash about sticking their necks out and asking. This is because they have burned before, the people they have asked before are either not comfortable with this or have also been burned before by bad sales people who don't know how to do this well. Whatever the reason, it is leaving money on the table.


Result: People are hesitant to provide referrals or personal introductions because you are either acting differently and/or totally focused on your gain. Therefore, you are making them uncomfortable and when that happens usually prospects and clients shut down. At most, they will give you a name and number and tell you that you cannot use their name. What kind of referral is that?


Situation: In order to win more clients and prospects into providing personal introductions you have to manage the process really really well. First of all, begin this process with a servant's mentality. This shifts the focus away from you to where it should be, on your prospect or client. Remember this: "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." Help them first and follow through on our commitment. Set the example all the time ~ not just one, but all the time! Then get their agreement up front to share a future conversation with you about these personal introductions.


Once your ready for those personal introductions help them focus on their networks and find out why they might be a good introduction. Get your clients to think about ways in which your products or services helped them overcome specific challenges and coach them through this conversation before they actually make that introduction. Coaching them through this conversation helps them become more comfortable and provides a workable framework that makes these introductions easy to execute. Got it!


Thank you for taking the time to read this. How would you begin to break through and better understand the selling behaviors and actions you need to become a better sales leader? As a sales professional what are your beliefs? What do you focus on? What outcomes do you want to achieve? How are you controlling the discovery conversations and how are you looking very different from everyone else out there trying to get your buyer's business?


We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

11 Critical Blunders Salespeople Make & What To Do About Them!

Over the years, I have observed the blunders of many professionals, including myself, in sales, in all industries in what I call “selling situations;” that is, where they are trying to acquire a new client or account. Although the actual approach may vary, there are many common pitfalls that trap professionals.

Please note these are not in any order and are equally important when considering your techniques, behaviors and attitudes towards selling and creating demand for your products and services that match your qualified prospects challenges, budget and decision making process.

Blunder One: They Talk Instead of LISTEN!

Situation: Too many professionals monopolize the time they have in front of prospective clients with their talk, only allowing the prospect to listen. For every hour in front of a prospect, they spend five minutes selling their services and 55 minutes buying them back.

Result: Sales people are a proud bunch. So proud of their knowledge that they want to share it with everyone. Therefore, they come into the call “showing up and throwing up” this knowledge, desperately wanting their important points to be heard. The prospect hears, "Blah, blah, blah!" The result is no engagement, too much unpaid consulting, no rapport, no trust and no sale. Here’s a dirty little secret about buyers, “ they really don’t care about your knowledge.”

Solution: The prospect should do most of the talking, as much as 70%. The sales professional only 30%, with 85% of that total asking qualifying questions to determine if the prospect really has challenges, budget and qualifies to get your intellectual property. This is not easy to do because prospects do everything in their power to keep sales people at arm’s length and remain in control of the selling conversation. Why? Because they have been burned by bad sales people in the past, they don’t trust you and they definitely do not want to be sold. So, a strong remedy is to ask great questions, listen, probe and clarify everything. Don’t assume anything because often times your buyer means something else based on their filters and intentions.

Blunder Two: They Presume Instead of ASKING QUESTIONS!

Situation: Some professionals seem to have all the solutions. In fact, companies no longer offer services, but are in the business of “providing solutions.” Since they have been faced with these situations before with others prospects and believe that their product or service is right for the prospect, they are not seeing things through the prospect’s perspective.

Result: They know and believe their solutions will work because they are proven and they honestly believe each prospect “needs me.” This triggers immediate features and benefits selling. Go back to "blah, blah, blah" in the first mistake. The only thing wrong with this approach is that too many professionals try to sell solutions without knowing what the problem is or what the problems are.

Solution: The professional must ask great questions “up front” to insure a complete understanding of the prospect’s perspective. It is important to find out “what” is happening, “why” it is happening, “how” long has it been happening, “what” have they done to try to solve the issue, and the real impacts those issues are having on the organization and the individual (and other decision makers) they are interviewing. Get out of the intellectual conversation by digging deep to the emotional levels of a buyer. Remember, people buy emotionally and justify their decisions intellectually.

Blunder Three: They ANSWER Unasked Questions

Situation: As children we are brought up to answer our parents/teachers and other authority figures questions. This behavior stays with us as we age and therefore when a prospect makes a statement like, “Your fees are too high” most professionals automatically go into a defensive mode and respond.

Result: Often sales professionals begin a speech on quality, value or experience. Sometimes they respond with a concession or a fee reduction. If a prospect can get a discount just by making a statement, then maybe the prospect should not buy until he or she tries something more powerful to get an even better price or discount. “Your prices are too high” is not a question. It does not require an answer!

Solution: Rather, understand the intent of the prospects statement (or question). Ask the prospect, “why do you think some companies charge higher prices than others?” Get them to explain! The statement that your fees are too high is not your problem, it is theirs. Get them to explain! Sell today and educate tomorrow is a great phrase to remember here. The amount of money sales people make is in direct proportion with the amount of information gathered rather than the information given up. Always find out the intent of their statements or questions. Always!

Blunder Four: They Fail to Get The Prospect to REVEAL BUDGET Up Front

Situation: Again, as children, we are taught by our parents that it is not polite to talk about money. This is wired into us (becomes our head trash) and can keep a sales people from discussing budget issues until the very end of the discussion. Then, all the unintended consequences begin to appear: throat tightens, voice cracks, bodies heat up and become clammy and confidence begins to fall. It’s not pleasant at all for both the sales person and prospect because there exists too much pressure.

Result: How can you propose a solution without knowing the prospect’s priority on a problem? Knowing whether there is money and other resources planned for a project will help the sales professional to distinguish between the prospect who is ready to solve the problem and the one who may not be serious at all. The amount of money that the prospect sees investing to solve a problem will help to determine whether a solution is feasible, and if so, what approach will match the prospect’s ability to pay.

Solution: Sales people must find out early in the mutual qualifying conversation if their prospect is both willing and able to make the investment in overcoming their problem and where the resources are coming from and when and how are they released.

Blunder Five: They Make TOO MANY FOLLOW UP CALLS When the Engagement is Actually Dead

Situation: Whether it is a stubborn attitude to turn every prospect into a client or ignorance of the fact that the engagement is truly dead, too much time is spent chasing prospective clients that don’t qualify for our products and services.

Result: Pride gets in the way of seeing clearly the situation and most believe the prospects “interest” is a huge buying signal that they have a “hot one.” The result is sales professionals are back on the proverbial hamster wheel to nowhere. Hoping, hoping, hoping. Wishing, wishing, wishing.

Solution: This should have been detected far earlier in the process. How? By asking great questions, staying in the moment and in control of the conversation, keeping your prospect comfortable and OK with your questions and testing for their commitment or decision early on. Have the guts not accept and clarify wishy-washy statements prospects make, "Your proposal hits our sweet spot," "We are definitely going with you," What do these statements mean exactly? Find out because the buyer's intent is to make you feel good so you'll give up more information and intellectual property when they have no intention of buying from you. 

Blunder Six: They Fail to Get a COMMITMENT TO BUY Before Doing A Proposal or Demonstration/Quote

Situation: Professionals are too willing to jump at the opportunity to do proposals and often end up wasting their most precious commodities: TIME, ENERGY, MONEY & other RESOURCES.

Result: They miss their true goal in acquiring a client and become free educators, many times merely teaching their prospects enough to help them buy from their competition or use the information to keep an incumbent supplier. How many proposals has your firm done where thousands of dollars of un-billed time and effort were spent chasing phantom opportunities because there was a poor job of qualifying the prospect early on in the screening process?

Solution: Qualify first, sell today and educate tomorrow!

Look for the last six blunders in my next post.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. How would you begin to break through and better understand the selling behaviors and actions you need to become a better sales leader? As a sales professional what are your beliefs? What do you focus on? What outcomes do you want to achieve? How are you controlling the discovery conversations and how are you looking very different from everyone else out there trying to get your buyer's business?

We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

Leading From Your Values

As an executive and leadership coach the topic of values is always discussed, whether they are in context to individual values, team values, and/or organizational values. Understanding your values and why they are important to you play a critical role in how effective your leadership presence is showing up (your behaviors and results). Values are part of one's spiritual dimension; the center that binds the other 3 dimensions of a leader (physical, intellectual and emotional). Because values are personal, and not always clearly defined, they remain an important but under-discussed and under-appreciated part of who you are as a person and as a leader.

It is very important to explore your values so you have a basis to understand what motivates you and makes you tick. How do your values play a part of who you are? What is at stake regarding your personal mission and purpose in life? There are two types of values: conscious based and fear based values. Conscious values allow you to take positive action. Think of these as "want to's." Values based on fear are one that cause you to take action to avoid something. They are "have to's." So, as you can see it is important for you to realize if you are choosing from passion or fear; or consciously or not. Understanding your values also has a huge impact on your level of energy and leading with positive or negative energy.

This post is meant to get you thinking about your values and understand why investing that time and thought will be of great benefit to you and to others. We all have values, and they become far more valuable when they are clearly understood and defined. Let me say that again. Your values are most valuable when they are clearly understood and defined.

In order to get the most benefit from what follows, your best first step would be to outline your values and write down the top five most important to you (if you need help, email me and I will send you a value assessment link). What do you see? What patterns, if any, are emerging? How does this make you feel? What are your intentions after this exercise?

Here are 5 reasons to define and clearly understand your values:

1. Values guide your decisions. As a leader you have many decisions to make - those that impact just you, and those that impact many others. Decisions, big or small, can be made faster, easier and with greater confidence when you start with your values. Run your decisions against your values. It is the best place to start. Companies have values too. Make sure your working for one that aligns with yours.

2. Values strengthen your ability to influence. When you communicate from your values you connect to your passions. When you speak with passion, people are drawn to you, are more likely to hear your message and you will be more successful in persuading and influencing. As a leader it should be self-evident why your values matter in this way.

3. Values create clarity. In so many ways when you are clearer your life becomes easier. Clarity helps you focus, be more productive and so much more. One of the quickest ways to gain clarity in your life is by first being clear about your values. When you work from this starting point, all the other benefits of clarity will follow. 

4. Values guide your actions. It is one thing to know and understand your values. It is another thing to behave in accordance with them. This fact impacts all of the ideas shared so far because it is when you understand and then act on your values that all the benefits are gained. This is the most important of these benefits. Your values guide your intentions and actions.

5. Values reduce stress. Most people I know would like less stress in their lives. As a leader it is doubly important because your stress is contagious - it infects those around you. When your decisions are clear, communication is easier and you will have less stress! You may not have thought about values in this way in the past; however, it is completely true that living from your values is a wonderful way to reduce stress.

What are your thoughts on these conclusions? How would you begin to break through your behaviors and intentions to find your leadership aligned with your values? We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process that enables the client to reveal and illuminate their authentic style via a sharp focus on who they are at their core.

3 Essential Elements that Shape Great Leaders

We see in life three key elements that go into the making of a true leader: the right innate traits, the right life experiences, and the right character. In observing leadership and working with leaders let me show you what I mean.

The Right Innate Traits ~ There is an old debate about whether leaders are born or made. Some would argue for the belief that leaders are born with certain innate and natural gifts and that these gifts are woven into the leader from the beginning. There are certain features of a person's natural disposition that are critical foundations to their leadership ability. These are not characteristics that can be developed only by training ~ they are innate features or foundational elements in a leader's temperament, disposition from which a leader, a better leader can be made.

The first one is Inquisitiveness. When you are looking for a leader, you want someone who asks lots of questions. People who are no inquisitive simply do not make good leaders. Curiosity is crucial to leadership. People who are content with what they do not know, happy to remain ignorant about what they do not understand, complacent about what they have not analyzed, and comfortable living with problems they have not solved. Such people cannot lead. Leaders need to have an insatiable curiosity. They need to be people who are hungry for answers. Whoever has the information has the lead. Knowledge is power. If you want to be a leader, look for someone who is asking the right questions and genuinely looking for answers.

This sort of inquisitiveness normally comes out in childhood. Most of us have encountered children who ask question after question with non-stop gusto, often wearing out the listener. That is part of the fabric of leadership. The best problem-solvers are people who are driven by an unquenchable enthusiasm for knowing and understanding things. They want to know more and to understand better. And that sort of inquisitiveness is a foundational element of a true leader.

Another foundational trait is Initiative. If a person is wired for leadership, he/she will have drive, ambition and energy. A true leader must be the kind of person who make things happen. A self starter that exhibits the kind of boldness, decisiveness and fearlessness where others fear to tread. These are vital characteristics for all great leaders. Sometimes, they have had to take a step back, undo, retract, or be rebuked. But the fact that they are always willing to grab opportunity marks them as a natural leader. Better to work with a leader like that than to try to motivate someone who is always passive and hesitant. A leader always wants to move ahead. They want to know what they don't know; want to understand what they don't understand, they are first to ask questions and the first to try to answer questions. Taking the initiative, seizing the moment and charging ahead with purpose is the stuff of leadership.

There is a third innate element that makes a true leader is Involvement. True leaders are always in the action. They do not sit in the background telling everyone else what to do while they live away from the fray. A true leader goes through life with a trail of dust behind them That is way people follow them. People cannot follow someone who remains distant. The true leader must show the way. He goes before his followers into battle and is personally involved.

The foundational fabric of a leader is started with an insatiable inquisitiveness, a willingness to take the initiative, and a passion to be personally involved. Now it is up to that leader to recognize that these traits need constant shaping and refinement so that the leader is more aware, can pause and access the best way to respond and then adjust their behaviors in powerful and profound ways that lead to different and more effective outcomes and performances.

The Right Life Experiences ~ How do you take a person cut from rough fabric and refine them into a leader? For one thing, the kind of life experiences that forms the person into the kind of leader they want to be. It is in this sense that true leaders are made, not just born.

Experience can be a difficult and hard teacher. The ups and downs of one's experiences can be dramatic and often painful and full of ups and downs. These tests and difficulties are the kind of experiences every leader must endure and understand. How often crushing defeats and deep humiliation follow hard on the heels of our greatest victories. By understanding our tendencies, our weaknesses and behaviors, a leader is learning to access and better adjust to behave in more effective and productive ways.

All those things leaders learned by experiences helps sustain and preserve them. Sometimes the experiences are distressing, painful and bitter. Other times they are encouraging, uplifting and glorious. Either way, a leader makes the most of these experiences, gleaning from them lessons that help make them into great leaders.

The Right Character ~ Character is absolutely critical in leadership. It does matter in leadership. It matters a lot. In fact, character is what makes leadership possible. People simply cannot respect or trust those who lack character. And if they do not respect the person, they will not follow them. Time and truth go hand in hand. Leaders without character eventually disappoint their followers and lost their confidence. The only reason such people are often popular is that they make other people who have no character feel better about themselves. But they are not REAL leaders.

Lasting leadership is grounded in character. Character produces respect. Respect produces trust. And trust motivates followers. True leadership is properly associated with character qualities like, integrity, trustworthiness, respectability, unselfishness, humility, self-discipline, submission, restraint, self-control, courage, authenticity, story teller, decisive, to name a few.

What leaders come to mind that exhibit these qualities? I can name a few ordinary people who became extraordinary leaders through trail and error and a yearning to become the best version of themselves.

If you want to grow then you must change. Change involves the unknown. The unknown is risky and scary. Real personal growth takes time and it is hard, risky and scary work. You need to slow down and become more curious about yourself; more aware with purpose and intention that will lead to new outcomes and performance for you, your team and your organization. Are you ready for that journey? We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process of coaching leaders through personal transformation that enables the leader to reveal and illuminate their authentic leadership style.

Why even the most successful Executives needs an effective Coach

Why would a highly successful executive need a coach? To Become a Better Leader. Why? Because they want to grow and are intentional about their development. In my experience coaching leaders, I find three situations that typically arise with leaders who want to grow.

• They are a leader who simply wants to grow. They are intentional about their growth and love the learning and actual application. All great leaders want to keep growing.
• They are a leader who has suffered a setback. Growing leaders learn the most during times of personal challenge. They learn more who they are and what's missing and are rocked out of their day to day leadership trance - they look within themselves to better understand how their thoughts, emotions and behaviors contributed to their situations instead of blaming others.
• They are a leader who wants to leave a legacy. They want to impact lives by being somebody else's leadership hero. If you want to touch or engage the hearts and souls of others, you must do so with your own heart and soul.

So, if any or all of the situations describe you, you need a new model and new tools to lead yourself more effectively, close the gaps, increase your influence and capacity to lead yourself and others. Will Rogers said, "Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."

Ex Google CEO, Eric Schmidt has said that the best advice he ever got was to hire an executive coach. When one of his board members suggested this, Schmidt resisted because he didn’t think he needed a coach. But in an interview with Fortune Magazine he said “everyone needs a coach.” Schmidt's initial reaction is not surprising. There are usually three roadblocks to getting better and leadership growth. These barriers keep leaders from seeing themselves as they really are. One or more of these is present in every leader I know.

1. Too much Autopilot ~ this is the trance where life is happening to you and your responses are automatic. You react and don't have time to think about it and it mostly works for you and helps you to accomplish, participate and lead. Autopilot is a useful shortcut for leaders to get a lot of things done. Autopilot is doing things the way we have always done them, reacting to people, situations the way we have always reacted - usually leading to getting the same results. Autopilot and growth do not go together. It must be disengaged and turned off. How do you do that? By becoming more AWARE and this is where we meet the second roadblock.
2. Using Less than 100% of Ourselves ~ Growing as a leader is more than raising your emotional intelligence or getting smarter at leadership competencies like communication, time management, delegation. Leadership growth does encompass all of these and more. If you want to be the best version of yourself, you must be AWARE of who shows up. Leading with 100% of yourself means recognizing that here are four distinct aspects or leadership dimensions of yourself that contribute to who you are as a leader: your physical body, your intellectual mind, your emotional heart and your spiritual essence. I tell leaders that they posses everything they need to be a better leader, they are just not using all of it.
3. Failing to See How One's greatest strengths are connected to their greatest weaknesses ~ Here is a simple example. Before the advent of power tools, the carpenter's best tool was his hammer and his greatest strength was hammering. He drove nails, built, achieved and got a lot of things done with his hammer. However, if the situation called for a different strength and behavior but the carpenter insisted that his greatest strength would carry the day and he kept hammering, how do you think the situation turned out? This silly example describes many leaders and offers a glimpse of how one's greatest strength and greatest weakness are related to one another.

So, if you want to grow, you must change. Change involves the unknown. The unknown is risky and scary. Real personal growth is risky and scary. If you are going to find real answers that lead to substantial change in yourself, you have to be willing to take on this risk with a trusted partner.

How would a successful executive benefit from a coach? Numerous studies provide ample data affirming the extraordinary results that can be achieved by utilizing a top executive coach. So, how will coaching help a leader get past these roadblocks? A leader needs to follow three steps to increase their impact and effectiveness.

• Become more AWARE ~ At the top of an organization you have a unique perspective, but that perspective is also limited by your position of power. A leader needs to slow down and be more aware of themselves as it help them lead mindfully instead of mindlessly. New ways of showing up and behaving lead to new and more effective outcomes. This is hard work but is the area where leaders generally grow the most.
• With more Awareness You Are Able To Better ASSESS ~ Now the leader is in a better position to assess. Assessing is all about measuring and evaluating, taking an accurate snapshot of oneself and one's capabilities in their present situation.
• Which Leads to ADJUST ~ Here adjust means change and is the real pay off step. Adjust means to behave differently. Real change shows up in your thoughts and emotions which lead to your actions.

To make these steps last, one will need to continue with two critical observations about oneself for lasting change. Both of these help us turn off the Autopilot, learn new things and accomplish real change in ourselves. First, you need to be more CURIOUS - ABOUT YOURSELF. Always evaluating, asking questions and getting honest feedback, just like when you were a child. Second, you need to BE PATIENT. Real change takes time. This is hard for leaders because everyone looks to you for answers. You are not going to change overnight, but you can begin to change overnight.

Coaching is a partnership in which you and your coach designs a plan based on your agenda – taking what’s inside and translating it into goals that you accomplish step-by-step. An executive coach is one of the few people you are able to honestly expose yourself without any judgement. Coaching is a place to test out ideas and strategy with someone you trust who has no vested interest or competing agenda. Your coach gives you objective and constructive feedback on your blind spots, and provides a very important outside perspective on the business and your team.

It is my hope you got one or two nuggets from this article so you have a little more clarity on your development and finding a coach to work with. What areas would you improve personally & professionally in helping you understand, assess and transform your behaviors for better outcomes and greater leadership effectiveness? We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process of coaching leaders through personal transformation that enables the leader to reveal and illuminate their authentic leadership style.

Leaders do your emotions have the best of you....or do you have the best of your emotions?

Few leaders get to the top of their organizations and for those that do, the journey can be a very isolating experience. When it comes to some of their biggest decisions and challenges, the ones that go with their leadership roles, they have very few with whom they can talk and think things through. The more success a leader has, the more isolating they become. At the same time leaders are also being challenged to lead in new ways that they have probably not encountered before. Leaders are at the top because others believe only they know what needs to be done.

So, as you gain success and become more isolated what do you do if you are one of those leaders who want to get better at their leadership effectiveness? Were you do turn to be vulnerable about your weaknesses? To whom can you honestly and authentically admit that you do not have all the answers and need help? To grow, you must intentionally engage personal development on your own.

When leaders come to me who believe something is missing, I tell them they possess everything they need to be a better leader; they are just not using all of it. Maybe 60 - 80% of their potential, but not 100%. That's why they need a new leadership model to close that gap. Are you aware of your gap?

One of the concepts I use with leaders to become the best version of themselves focuses on four leadership dimensions: Physical, Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual and how leaders are using these dimensions in all their situations and conversations. These all define how we are showing up and interacting with our life and our world and the resulting outcomes. This tool really helps the leader become much more aware of themselves in any and all situations, conversations and relationships. It really breaks up the Autopilot of racing through our day, our interactions and situations and pausing to look deeper at ourselves.

This article is going to only focus on a few elements of the Emotional dimension.

In the course of any given day, as I listen to leaders, I am highly aware of the variety of emotions that fill their rooms: Fear, Anger, Gladness, Sorrow, Guilt and Shame. What I know about emotions is that they play a key role on how we behave, how we react, how we are showing up as leaders. Emotions give us a way that helps explain things for us. How's that?

Here is a simple formula: EVENT + EMOTION = EXPLANATION. Every one of us makes meaning in this way. This is basic DNA on how we view and interact with life. What's important to our effectiveness as leaders is do are emotions have the best of us (reactive) or do we have the best of our emotions (creative)?

As for me, in a variety of past leadership roles I can honestly say that I was reacting to all situations. I was trying to stay above the water line in an angry sea. I reacted and responded quickly without much thought ~ just trying to survive with my head trash, constantly pissed off, wanting to punch the next sea wall that came my way. And it would not let up. Gulping down seawater while riding wave after wave. I wanted desperately to make the right choices, but not understanding my emotions blinded my clarity. As such, my reactions were negative and unproductive. And they were harming everyone involved. 

I was on edge and it was dark, cold and wet. Each time I was triggered, I behaved the same way and got the same results. Looking back I can tell you I was responding by being on Autopilot. Not having to think, just an automatic response.  Autopilot blinded my clarity. We have all been on Autopilot. The numbness of making decisions as life comes at you.  It is like being on a hamster wheel that brings us the same outcomes as before. 

Sure Autopilot can bring on successful results, until it doesn’t. Then what….. well for me I got focused and chose to get off Autopilot to better understand how to control my emotions instead of them controlling me. I started to define, feel and recognize (to be more aware) of my emotions, the triggers that set them off and being accountable and owning them ~ I found this as my only path to understanding my emotions and consciously choosing different responses that led to healthier outcomes. 

One of the many things I do in my line of profession is to work with leaders in helping them see and understand for themselves that they must get off autopilot for things to really change. Nothing changes until the autopilot is turned off and that’s when real and transformational change happens. 

Emotions are not good or bad. They are neutral but what is good or bad is whether or not they are in charge or if we are in charge. What I have learned about myself and working with leaders is our emotions impact what we are thinking and our thoughts lead to our actions that result in our outcomes. The key is to be always conscious and curious of emotions that are driving you. When we run on Autopilot that is often to our detriment, especially the more extreme the situation and the intensity of the emotion. The more we are on autopilot during an intense emotion we are more vulnerable to behaviors that are controlling and managing us as opposed to recognizing our emotions and adjusting our behaviors accordingly and more productively.

Here is a quick primer on Emotions. There are a lot of words in our vocabulary to describe emotions; maybe 170 - 180 adjectives we use to describe our feelings and these adjectives can be broken down into 5 main emotions. Those five are broken down into 4 primary and 1 secondary emotion: Glad, Mad, Sad, Scared and Shame. The distinction being that our primary emotions are hard wired into us from birth. Emotions are really our first language we communicate with without using language. No one had to teach us any of these 4 emotions and that is why they are primary.

As we age, we continue to get certain messages about our emotions. We are either told to suppress or express our emotions. We are emotional beings and when we try to suppress or completely negate our emotions they will eventually show up in our behavior at the wrong time and place and we lose our ability to identify what is making us tick, what is setting us off, what we are thinking, why we are behaving the way we are? 

Each of the primary emotions can be defined as the relationship between me and what I want. A lot of times we are vague in defining what we want. Sometimes we don’t even feel entitled to what we want. As defined then……………………..

GLAD is an emotion that expresses “I have what I want”. I am GLAD that I have…
MAD is an emotion that expresses “There is a barrier between me and what I want.”
SAD is an emotion that expresses “What I want has been taken away from me.”
SCARED is an emotion that expresses “What I want could be taken away from me.”

Notice by the way that each of those takes place in a different reference of time. 

GLAD and MAD are generally experienced when something is happening in the moment. I have what I want or there is a barrier right now to what I want. It is very present.  SAD has to do with the past. It has happened in the past. SCARED or afraid is about the future. Being SCARED or afraid is an emotion of the head. Our intellect creates scenarios that cause us to feel scared, fearful or anxious. We are imagining what can happen.  We make stuff up even if we do not have good reasons to do so. It is about the future and it is all in our head emotionally.

The 5th emotion is SHAME. SHAME is the single secondary emotion because it is not hard wired into us and it generally comes from our exterior world. SHAME comes as a result of a painful experience, something we did or we were shamed by someone else, such as a teacher, a coach or other authority figure and in some cases our qualifier that we are not enough, that we do not measure up, not adequate enough, not worthy.

SHAME can be linked with GUILT, but they are different. The best way to define SHAME and differentiate it from GUILT is: SHAME is: “I am Wrong.” SHAME is within me………… while GUILT is “I have done something wrong.” 

You may not have SHAME but at least a third to half of the leaders I work with experience this emotion on a frequent basis on some degree. SHAME shows up when you feel embarrassed, lack self-confidence, I am not good enough; I don’t have what it takes. It is a notion of imperfection not adequate enough. This is how SHAME shows up.

Let’s conclude by asking what are the emotions are you feeling as you read this? Are you feeling or ignoring your emotions? Is there someone/something else outside of this article that is also impacts your emotions? What do you want to do with that? Are you letting your emotions show? Is this helpful? What emotions might others detect in me?

It is my hope you got one or two nuggets from this article so you have a little more clarity on emotions and how to modify and ultimately transform your behaviors for better outcomes and greater leadership effectiveness.  We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process of coaching leaders through personal transformation that enables the leader to reveal and illuminate their authentic leadership style.