Leaders, Listen Up ~ Are You Worthy of Trust?

Effective leaders are trustworthy people. If folks don’t trust you, it’s very hard to influence them.

For over twenty years, Barry Posner and Jim Kouzes have conducted research to learn what people expect in their leaders. Since 1987, they’ve published their results in four editions of The Leadership Challenge. The primary item that individuals report that they expect in their leaders is honesty. We want our leaders to be truthful, ethical, principled, and of high integrity ~ authentic sums it up.

Have you ever resolved conflict between two individuals who don’t trust each other? How easy was that? Exactly! “Trust” is a conclusion we tend to draw subconsciously. Rarely do we understand the facts that lead us to that conclusion.

When someone says, “I don’t trust him,” you may ask, “Why is that?” Chances are that you’ll receive a shrug of the shoulders or a description of an exaggerated incident. Conveniently, we tend to draw the conclusion, then search for relevant facts to justify it.

For a moment, however, think about why you consider some people trustworthy and others not. Start by thinking of someone you deeply trust. Also, think of someone you don’t trust. You need both to do this simple three-element model to test your relationships with these two individuals who represent the extremes of people you know.

The first element that has to be in place for trust to exist is “competence”. The question is, “Do I believe that this person is capable of doing whatever he or she claims to do?” For example, you might not trust your Doctor to conduct a thorough check of your automobile when your check engine light comes on, but you definitely want the Doctor to handle when your appendix bursts!

The second element that has to be in place is “honorable motive”. The question is, “Do I believe that this person offering help is doing so from a genuine desire to serve? Or is there some intent there that is more selfish?” We often make judgments about why people do what they do, and we are often wrong. Still, it’s our perception of their motives and intentions that determines whether we trust or not.

The final element that has to be in place is “reliability”. The question is, “Do I believe that this person is committed to doing (and actually does) whatever it takes to keep his or her promise, even if the going gets rough?” Sometimes people have good intentions, but they fail to follow-through. They don’t have to let us down very often for us to conclude that we’re not able to trust in what they tell us to expect.

Are you ready to test the model? Think about the person you trust. I’ll bet he or she rates highly in all three areas. For the person you don’t trust, I guarantee that he or she rates poorly in at least one of these three areas! (All three areas are required for trustworthiness.)

If you have responsibility for developing future leaders in your organization, it’s helpful to use this model in providing feedback for their growth. A person can improve the first characteristic, competence, by seeking additional training and experience (practice). The second and third criteria can be improved if people receive genuine and loving feedback and make different choices about their future behaviors.

The best way to apply these three criteria, however, is to your own behaviors. Do you claim competence only in areas where you really have it? Are you careful that your motives are pure, genuinely desiring to serve those you influence? And do you make promises sparingly, making sure to follow up on every expectation you generate?

As a leader, your behaviors are watched all the time, and people are making judgments about your trustworthiness based on what they observe. I encourage you to build your competencies continually through personal growth, to think through why and how you are contributing your services, and to follow-through on every commitment you make!

What are your thoughts on this topic? How would you begin to break through your filters to begin shifting your focus on becoming a trustful and authentic leader? We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process that enables the client to reveal and illuminate their authentic leadership style via a sharp focus on who they are at the core.

Resilience ~ A Key Leadership Behavior

How important is resilience as a leadership behavior? The leaders and leadership coaches I have discussed this trait with all suggest resilience is a key and critical strength for leaders at all levels. Why is so important? The ability to effectively respond in times of stress, uncertainty and conflict is critical for a leader to resolve these high stakes situations, especially when other stakeholders are involved. It requires a great deal of honesty and courage to do so. Brene Brown, in her book, Daring Greatly said this: “Only when we’re brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

While thinking about and researching resiliency and its relevance to leadership, I found this quote, "Leaders are not successful in spite of their setbacks; they are successful because of them." In fact, this statement is really for all of us. From job loss or demotions, to coping with children of addiction, facing cancer treatments, financial hardship, separation or coping with the loss of a family member or friend, overcoming hardships and disappointments is one thing we all have in common.

Simply, resiliency is the ability to properly respond effectively to stress, adversity or disruptive events. In other words, resilience is one's ability to bounce back from a negative experience with "competent functioning." The ability to respond effectively and responsibility are the gateways in overcoming the typical and common negative energy and reactive responses. When we react, chances are we overreact and often regret our actions and the impact our words/actions have on others and on ourselves. The beauty is that we are free to choose and can totally control how we will respond. Our only true freedom is how we decide what our attitude will be. Our attitude will then determine our thoughts, our emotions and our actions. Our freedom to choose cannot be taken from us. Sadly, often we give this freedom away when we react in anger, shame or fear.

Abraham Maslow is a leading figure in the tradition of humanistic psychology and his ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ remains widely recognized and used. I have used this theory in training sales professionals and managers. However, relating to leadership and leading with resilience, it is important to understand Maslow's concept of self-actualization. You might be asking yourself, "who is a self-actualized person, and what characteristics does s/he have?"

Maslow studied individuals whom he believed to be self-actualized, including Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein, to derive the common characteristics of the self-actualized person (The 12 Characteristics of a Self-Actualized Person). Maslow’s portrait of self-actualization occurs when one maximizes their potential, doing the best that they are capable of doing. He also found that individuals who are more self-actualized had an accurate and strong perception of reality.

In studying leaders, there are typically several common fears that inhibit their ability to objectively and accurately perceive reality, and as a result, diminish the ability to successfully lead with resiliency. Let's look at these challenges to effective leadership.

• The first is the fear of failure. This type of leader is obsessed with success, winning (mostly at all costs), and recognition. They tend to micromanage others and are often considered perfectionists. Control is their game. As control freaks, it is all about them; about being "right" than being effective. Often when things don't go perfectly they deflect responsibility and blame others. They typically display bitter and unhappy energy. Not a very inspiring picture, is it?
• The second is the fear of vulnerability. This type of leader sees vulnerability as a major weakness. As such they spend their time pushing away and protecting themselves from feeling vulnerable or from being perceived that way. Rather than respecting and appreciating the courage, daring and authenticity behind vulnerability, they let their fear and discomfort become judgment and criticism of others and silently of themselves.
• The third leadership is the fear of rejection. This type of leader avoids conflict at all costs, preferring to maintain politeness as opposed to being candid. They’re more concerned about what others think of them than what they think of themselves. Typically, these leaders insulate themselves with sycophants who never challenge the status quo.

So, what can leaders start doing differently to improve their leadership resiliency? Here are a few ideas.

1. A leader must be present. After a disruptive event happens, leaders have to make the decision to show up. Oftentimes, showing up comes before their understanding of the situation or the circumstances surrounding the event. Nevertheless, a resilient leader always shows up. When the “event” is framed and managed with resiliency, it liberates by giving leaders the freedom to re-engage on their own terms.
2. Resilient leaders must confront the brutal facts. The ability to stare down reality while maintaining realistic optimism for the future is crucial. Although resilient leaders are optimistic, “hope” is not their default strategy.
3. Resilient leaders possess a high degree of self-awareness or emotional intelligence. Not the kind of awareness that validates their perception of themselves, but the kind that disturbs and disrupts. This kind of acute awareness allows leaders to know their shadow, and to manage their fear so it doesn’t manage them.
4. If you want a culture of creativity and innovation, high and productive leadership engagement, start by developing the ability of leaders to cultivate an openness to vulnerability. This notion that the leader needs to be "in charge" and "to know all the answers" is both dated and destructive. It's impact on others is the sense that they know less, and that they are less than. This is a sure recipe for risk aversion, lack of engagement on all levels and destructive negative energy.

These three ideas share a common theme: COURAGE. The courage to show up when feeling hurt, disappointed or embarrassed; the courage to confront the brutal facts that may be difficult to accept or acknowledge; and the courage to develop the self-awareness necessary for leading effectively. When leaders demonstrate the courage to show up, to confront brutal facts and to continuously learn, they will be successful – not in spite of their setbacks, but because of them.

What are your thoughts on this topic? How would you begin to break through your filters to begin shifting your focus on becoming a resilient leader? We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process that enables the client to reveal and illuminate their authentic leadership style via a sharp focus on who they are at the core.

Charismatic Leaders Are Often The Most Successful

Some people enter a room and all the heads turn.  When they begin to speak, people are on the edges of their seats.  They instantly gain respect and even trust.  I think of Presidents Kennedy and Reagan, Sir Richard Branson, Founder of the Virgin Group, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, and Joe Maddon, skipper of the Chicago Cubs, to name a few.  In a word, they have charisma, one of the most desirable qualities in the world. Charismatic leaders are revolutionary and rarely, if ever, found defending the status quo. In contrast, charismatic leaders are almost always about revolution, innovation or some kind of significant change.

So, what is charisma?  It is hard to define. The term charisma has two senses: compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others, a divinely conferred power or talent. As regards sense 1, scholars in political science, psychology, and management use the term "charisma" to describe a particular type of leader having "symbolic leader influence rooted in emotional and ideological foundations".  It can be many things then, such as likeability (on steroids).  Clearly, if you want to influence people, they must like and respect you.  


Let's take a deeper look in defining CHARISMA and focus on the the letters of the word itself.


Confidence.  Charismatic people believe in themselves and share that confidence with others. Confidence does not come naturally to most people. Even the most successful people struggle with it. Confidence can be developed, like any skill or trait, if you are willing to honestly recognize the gaps and then commit to do the self improvement work. Get a coach to help you through some of this. Honestly, we all want to follow leaders who believe that they and the team can do anything and have the courage to tackle any obstacle on what can be achieved without compromising on a collective morale compass.


Happiness. The happiest people I know are not the most attractive, richest or the best at what they do. This is a mindset that again can be developed. The happiest people are those who discover that what they should be doing and what they are doing are the same things. True happiness lies in satisfaction, which is an important element of charisma.


Authentic. Authenticity is a reflection of how truthful and real we are in our relationships with others, and in understanding ourselves. Being authentic means you will be honest, vulnerable, real, constantly demonstrating your values and standards and maybe a little intimate when sharing who you are as a person, or how you would like others to be when in relationship with you. At a deep level, most people want to be in authentic relationships. Without authenticity, relationships will be slow to develop, if at all. And without authentic relationships, trust does not grow. Without trust, leaders will not have influence, and without influence, they will not build value throughout their organizations.

Respect. A charismatic leader is one who offers respect in return. It is part of their DNA and emotional intelligence development. You will never find a charismatic leader in a bully or narcissist. No one likes to be pushed around and demeaned. One of the most important skills to master is learning how to respectfully disagree. Somehow this has been lost on our society and we need to get healthy and open dialogue back. Even when you do not agree with them, give them your full attention when they are speaking. Show that your respect their viewpoint and they will more readily listen to you and your ideas.


Intentional inspiration. All charismatic leaders have a strong purpose and focus on others. They understand the importance of acknowledging and putting others first. The emphasis is on serving, not being served.


Smile. It is so simple, yet so significant. People like to be around pleasant people and nothing communicates that better than a smile.


Mannerisms. Have you noticed how charismatic people walk into a room and work the room, how they shake hands, how they hold themselves while engaging and listening to others. Body language matches speech. Confident body language wins people over even without any words spoken. Again, like all of these behaviors, they can all be developed and refined.


Accountability. Charismatic leaders understand the importance of accountability and hold themselves fully accountable for their thoughts, emotions and actions. They elevate their performance by creating a proactive culture of accountability. They understand that true and sustainable accountability cannot be imposed on others through regulations, protocols, or management edicts.  Real accountability comes from within each person and reflects individual values and purpose. It’s a choice and charismatic leaders understand this better than others.


Creating a culture where this kind of accountability is the norm doesn’t happen by chance. It requires intentional effort to develop the skill of accountability in yourself and your team. It takes the ability to take ownership of your responsibilities and then taking the initiative to produce key results. A charismatic leader understands what it takes to get people to want to be accountable.


What are your thoughts on this topic?  How would you begin to break through your filters to begin shifting your focus on becoming a charismatic leader? We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process that enables the client to reveal and illuminate their authentic leadership style via a sharp focus on who they are at the core.
 

18 TIPS TO LEAD A CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM

I find it very enjoyable talking with coaches at all levels of the team sports, especially the high school level.  High school kids are so raw for development, so eager to learn and hopefully do the right thing.  They really look up to their teachers and coaches.  And so, it's great to discuss and learn how these coaches are shaping and developing these young men and woman in leadership, accountability, teamwork, focus on common goals, integrity, service to the community, being centered and having fun. 

As such, we in the working world have lots to learn from these coaches and athletes.  I want to share this list from a high school coach I met over a year ago.  A wonderful and gracious teacher and coach whose focus is on developing talent in the classroom and the athletic venues.  At that time, he was the woman's water polo coach. He said this list permeates the culture of their entire school and athletic endeavors.  It is changing lives, creating a vibrant organization, student body and community.  

We can all use these tips where ever we maybe on our journey no matter the odds.  Just look at Leicester City's remarkable and incredible run in winning the 2016 Barclays Premier League.  Anything is possible with right attitude, vision and leadership.

1. Come and leave as a team - whenever possible teams should arrive, play, and leave as a single unit (team). That means eat together, walk together, drive together, wait in line together, and set up and clean up together. Whatever you do, do it together.
2. Be a giver – as a leader, look for every opportunity to give something to your team and teammates. Give your passion, enthusiasm, honesty, friendship, effort, hard work, determination, perseverance, time, leadership, and expertise. Whatever you do, give something of value.
3. Do the little things - when you do the little things your teammates learn to count on and trust you. This is especially true when you do the things that nobody wants to do or expects you to do. So, spend extra time with an teammate before or after practice, take the lead with our off-season conditioning program, or hold your teammates accountable in response to their attitude, effort, and follow-thru. Remember, trust leads to loyalty, loyalty leads to commitment, and commitment leads to success. Whatever you do, do what needs done.
4. Every performer has a "boiling point" - everyone has that critical point (that extra degree) that redefines their commitment, effort, and intensity. Consistently "push" yourself and others outside their comfort zone - toward greater commitment and goal attainment. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Whatever you do, model the commitment and behaviors that you would like to see in your teammates.
5. Every team has a "tipping point" – continue to develop a core group of hard working and highly committed individuals at each grade level that can take your team from good to great and move your team (tip your team) into that next level. This core group "sets the tone" for what is expected in terms of hard work, effort, and intensity. Whatever you do, help your coaches develop a core group of highly committed leaders.
6. Respect is best communicated with a "thank you" - it's not that difficult . . . you just have to say it. Thank your athletic trainers, the bus driver, those serving the food, and those cleaning the locker room. Whatever you do, say "thank you," and say it often.
7. Stay in the present - the past is done and the future is uncertain (and not yet here) so be careful not to devote much time to either. Instead, stay in the present. Your performance is "here and now," and your focus needs to stay "in the moment." Whatever you do, do it right here and right now- 2008’s, 2009’s, and 2010’s trophies didn’t matter in 2011.
8. Communication is mostly what we see - more than 90% of your communication throughout a day is non-verbal. So, take note of your facial expressions and body language and be sure that you are encouraging and empowering others in both what you are showing and what you are saying. Your verbal and nonverbal communication should be consistent and moving others in the direction of positive change. Whatever you do, say it and show it.
9. It's not about you - when you are "giving" and "serving" others, it cannot be about you. Helping others succeed and leading teams toward unity calls for a constant "other focus." It's about encouraging, empowering, and building others up . . . in words, actions, and demeanor. Whatever you do, as a captain, you must put others first.
10. Attitude is everything - the task at hand is never as important as the attitude that it will take to complete that task. Your teammates’ attitudes are more important than their individual role, team status, playing time, knowledge, leadership role, or year in school. The great thing about your attitude is that you get to "pick it" every moment of every day. So, pick it wisely. Whatever you do, remember that your attitude is a choice.
11. Optimism is contagious - is your glass "half-full" or "half-empty?" You are either lifting others up or bringing others down. In short, you are either optimistic or pessimistic. Life "in-the-middle" seldom exists. So, start looking at what you have, rather than what you don't have. Be thankful for what is, rather than what is not. Focus on your own and others' strengths, rather than weaknesses. And look toward what you can accomplish, rather than what you cannot. Whatever you do, be positive in what you think, how you act, and what you say to yourself and others.
12. What got you here . . . won't get you there - all the hard work, time, and sacrifice that got you to the place you are now will not be enough to get you to where you want to go next. Your strengths got you here but your strengths will have to get stronger. Your commitment has been great but it will have to be greater. And your leadership has been very good but it will now have to be better as seniors. To "move up" you will have to do more, get better, and be smarter. Whatever you do, do it better than ever.
13. You move in the direction of what you think - whatever dominates your thoughts is what you will move toward. When you think success, you move toward success. When you set higher goals, you move toward better and better performances. You cannot separate the mind from the body. What you are thinking is what your body will begin to do. Whatever you do, think about what you want to do and want to accomplish.
14. You may "want" . . . but your team will "need" - there is a big difference between what you want from your team and what your team needs from you as their captain. It is critical to differentiate between what you would like (at some point in time) and what your team needs from you (right now). Whatever you do, do what your team needs you to do today.
15. Pointing fingers (and blame) is the easy way out - taking responsibility and ownership is hard but it is critical to individual and team success. Blaming others often leads to conflict, dissatisfaction, and poor team communication. However, coaches, captains and players taking responsibility and ownership often leads to greater team trust, effort, and overall satisfaction and performance. Whatever you do, always take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions.
16. Accountability is rare but an absolute necessity - with responsibility comes accountability. It is imperative to hold yourself and others accountable, but true accountability is rare. Accountability includes establishing clearly outlined consequences for not doing what was promised and a follow-through action plan to allow for the consequences to be carried out when needed. Whatever you do, embrace accountability and the consequences that follow.
17. Excellence (and winning) is a habit - remember that habits take considerable time to create but they are also hard to break. When you think about and dwell on excellence and winning - you move toward winning. When you win, you often win more. When you continue to win, you expect to win again. In time, winning becomes a habit. And habits are hard to break. Whatever you do, strive for excellence in all that you do.
18. Great leaders make the difference - great teams have great leaders. Great leaders set the commitment standard, lead by example, are vocal when needed, make good decisions, are confident, hold accountable, and actively build team trust and unity. In short, a great leader is the "difference maker." Whatever you do, take the time to develop yourselves as captains and leaders.

Being a captain of this program is the ultimate responsibility. Consider the pairs of captains you’ve played for; what made them good? What made them ineffective? What do you want next year’s captains to say about you?
It’ll sometimes be an exercise in patience putting your teammates before yourselves. But think of the payoff: if your team accomplishes that goal of EARNING a state trophy, you get to touch it first.

What are your thoughts on developing and cultivating  leadership talent in your team or organization?  We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.

Millennials Will Take Greater Control of the Workforce

As 2016 begins, the millennial takeover has officially begun.  Last year, according to Randstad USA, the workforce was comprised of 30% Baby Boomers, 30% Gen X's, and 30% millennials.  By 2020, the workforce will be nearly 50% millennials.  This new year will see a shakeup as the makeup begins to shift to the millennials.   As more and more Baby Boomers reaching retirement age, how are employers stepping up their efforts to understand the millennial mindset so they can productively and effectively recruit, retain and prepare them for future leadership roles. 

It will be important to understand their motivations, needs and expectations in the workplace and how they effectively get work done, work and relate with others.  The issues are also compounded by the quickly evolving technological  and political world.  Technology has been a huge game changer for this generation.  They have a capability of utilizing technology in such a way as to collaborate both in their workplace and in their lives.  How can and how will organizations connect their younger members with smart technologies that keeps them abreast of company news, events and allows them to join groups based on their personal interests?

Though these are generalizations, some of the most positive traits often found in millennials are entrepreneurial thinking, flexibility, open-mindedness, passionate about their causes and value social responsibility in their employers, and they really care what their brand stands for, challenging the status quo,  creativity and social communications.  They are also the first generation to truly value collaborative behavior from workers above and below them in their organizations. 

Workplace location, transportation options and office setup are important factors for this generation who value working in hip, walkable neighborhoods and working in a big open space.  The focus on collaborative behavior is forcing organizations to ask, do we have the right physical environment for effective collaboration?  Millennials desire a "cool" office settings with contemporary huddle spaces, standup desks, excellent air quality and more natural lighting as studies suggest that natural light increases human productivity and reduces fatigue and stress.  Office colors play subtle roles as colors that are useful in the office are: orange – stimulates creativity; yellow – intensifies the intellect and heightens motivation; red – energizes; blue – calming, fights physical and mental tension; green – fights irritability and has a healing effect on the body.  There are other sterotypes too.  Millennials have a short attention span, are self-involved, not focused enough on the task at hand and will change jobs if they are not being fulfilled. 

If they have not started, organizations need to begin looking at ways to attract and retain this important generational segment.  They are having a huge impact on their organizations and they are not going to wait around for that "gold watch." What kinds of mentoring, coaching and leadership programs are to be adopted to capitalize on this growing and highly mobile workforce segment?  How many years of service will they give you, and within those years, what growth opportunities do they have and how are they going to learn?  How will organizations look at this important workforce and challenge themselves to doing things differently to help pave the way for millennials' success and theirs?   

What are your thoughts on developing and cultivating millennial leadership talent in your team or organization?  We would love to hear from you with comments or questions. Send me a note via email at brad@aperiocoaching.net or on Twitter @bparcells.