How A Leader Should ACT To Be A More Effective Coach

So you are a leader and you’ve come to the crossroads for a coaching opportunity with a fellow associate. Terrific. Clearly you have developed trust with this other individual and that is a great thing. Your ability to create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust is paramount in any relationship, especially coaching.

Coaching is a specialized skill set that is far different from being a manager, trainer, mentor or friend. Coaching is not about giving advice or feedback that is based on your experiences and your own agenda on the situation. Save all that for a mentoring conversation. Coaching is different and you will do yourself and the other person a huge favor in understanding three key principals of a coaching relationship and conversation. 

But, first and don’t skip this…it is important to understand what coaching is:

Coaching is a powerful process used to empower others to:

• Increase their self awareness in order to
• Facilitate more conscious decision making, which
• Forwards their decisions into focused and organized action, and that
• Ties in the key component of accountability to measure progress

As a leader, who coaches, it is very important to understand what is required in the specific coaching interaction and to come to agreement with the person about the coaching process and relationship. You have to get mutual agreement upfront or else trust will be compromised. An effective coach understands the agenda is set by the other person, as well coming up with solutions to their targeted desires.

An effective coach never gets involved in the other person’s story and always keeps their ego, their needs and their agenda outside of this critical interaction. This conversation is totally about the other person’s agenda, needs, wants and desires. They determine everything through your effective questioning.

Also, an effective coach has the ability to focus completely on what the person is saying and not saying, understanding the meaning of what is said in context of the other desires. This is active listening with your whole body and using your intuition for further probing. Finally, an effective coach has the ability to integrate and accurately evaluate multiple sources of information and to make interpretations that help the other person gain awareness and thereby achieve desired results.

Here is a highly effective coaching strategy in setting up the relationship and then asking the questions that fit the desired topic and outcomes of the other person. The strategy is called ACT. 

1. A = Ask what the other person wants in each and every session up front!
2. C = Clarify the meaning of what they want
3. T = Target their success with your brilliant coaching

ASK the Question ~ A word of caution. Sometimes a person does not answer this question – Be clear and stay focused on getting the answer and then you will both know the desired outcome and the direction you are going!

What do you want to work on today?

How can I best support you today?

What would be the best use of our time together today to keep you moving forward?

CLARIFY the Answer ~ Now you know what the other person specifically wants, but do you know what this really means? Clarify, clarify, clarify. You can easily think you know what they mean, especially when the use common words we all understand … or do we? An effective coach needs to stay curious – always interested. You want to know exactly what they are saying and truly means to them. Let them paint their picture for you. A word of caution. It is easy to get caught up in the their story. Keep yourself and them focused in on the meaning in support of their goal. Bottom-line people back to their stated goal.

Tell me more about that?

Tell me what that means to you?

The ability to ask questions that reveal the information needed for maximum benefit to the coaching relationship is huge. Ask questions that: 1) reflect active listening and an understanding of the their perspective; 2) that evoke discovery, insight, commitment or action (those that challenges the their assumptions, beliefs or interpretations); 3) create greater clarity; 4) that moves them towards what they desire, NOT questions that ask for them to justify or look backwards.

TARGET their Success ~ By asking the other person what they specifically want to work on and clarifying what that means to them, you now have a TARGET – a clearly defined direction or destination for the session. You can now apply your coaching skills with an aim towards their desired outcome to target their success.

Using this strategy will set you up for a much more successful coaching session, with less stress, less defensiveness, and a much better chance for improvement on the part of the person you are coaching. And isn’t that what you are hoping for in the coaching session anyway?

What resonated with you? What steps will you take to improve your coaching as a leader? Send comments to: brad@aperiocoaching.net.

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear.  Coaching is a powerful process that enables the client to reveal and illuminate their authentic leadership style via a sharp focus on who they are at their core.
 

What Does Energy Have To Do With Leadership? Everything!

Like everything in the universe, we are energetic beings.  We are constantly releasing positive and negative charges that either work for us or against us.  These charges are our energy.  Our energy and how we experience life, is determined by our thoughts/beliefs, emotions/feelings and actions/behaviors.  Everyone has a mix of different energies and they show up in different situations uniquely to each of us.  Think of your energy like a stock on the NYSE.  Stocks fluctuate during the trading day and close at new prices reflecting the day's activity.  As humans, we are like stocks, with our energy going up or down all day long.  Thoughts and feelings such as joy, non-judgment, raise the price of our stock.  Victimization, anger, blaming others will lower our stock value.

These fluctuations in energy vary in each of us depending on how we perceive things going on in our lives.  Stressful situations will release energy that will either work for you or against you - the same can be said when things are going well.  Here is the beautiful part, we all have the ability to raise our energy by understanding our awareness of what is going on around us and deciding how we are going to show up in our world and how we allow the world to impact us, positively, just by adjusting our thoughts, emotions and actions.   Our level of energy directly determines our success.

Leadership and executive development, through understanding our level of awareness or energy, is a very powerful and impactful learning experience.  However, many executives balk to discover this important tool as they generally view "energy" as some kind of soft skill or some far eastern methodology.  It is not and is well rooted in western culture. Heightened self awareness is a key component of critical leadership as it increases your options, decisions and interactions with greater positive energy.

Energy Leadership is the process that develops a personally effective style of leadership that positively influences and changes not only yourself, but also those with whom you work and interact, as well as your organization as a whole.  The Energy Leadership Development system is firmly rooted in 7 levels of awareness or energy, which will catapult your energy and performance to a level that is "ideal" for you.  This two part system is made up of an introduction and 8 building blocks of an energetic leader. The program is completely customized to each leader and offers a baseline for current level of awareness, performance and effectiveness.

This is a profound and applicable form of leadership development that allows the process of leading energy to work for you, rather than against you.  By learning, understanding and applying the principles and concepts of Energy Leadership, you can increase your ability to shift your own energy and the energy of those around you.  When you do that you will help inspire and motivate yourself and others, feel a greater sense of purpose, get more done with much less effort and stress, and constantly attract positive and powerful people and success to you.  Once you realize that your level of awareness is directly related to your actions, you can move from functioning effectively to functioning optimally.

So, what does energy have to do with leadership?  I think you now know some of the answers to this question. The 8 building block of the Energetic Leader provide the accelerated training needed to master the areas necessary to become an ideal leader: 1) emotional intelligence, 2) dynamic communications, 3) Influencing and Engage Others, 4) Problem Solving, 5) Productivity and Decision Making, 6) High Energy Relationships, 7) Health & Wellness, 8) Time Management and Balance.  The results are dramatic and yield for leaders more production, less effort with more fulfillment!

If you want greater success, get more done and have more fun, what are you waiting for? Come and get it! Reach me at brad@aperiocoaching.net or 404.409.7226.

What Does Emotional Intelligence Have To Do With Creating Better Leaders?

What Does Emotional Intelligence Have To Do With Creating Better Leaders?

When corporate leaders struggle with team relationships, it's often a question of people taking the time to understand one another. In order to overcome this common leadership challenge, it's often helpful to take a look at a leader's "emotional intelligence." While companies look for intelligent, capable individuals to promote into leadership positions, sometimes awareness of emotional factors can play a huge role in how effectively that person leads a team of people.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the capacity a leaders has to effectively perceive, express, understand and manage emotions in an effective and appropriate manner.  Research has proven that EI is a strong predictor of success in the workplace, more so than IQ, skill sets, personality and experience.  In essence, EI equals interpersonal effectiveness, and the more effective a leader is with others, the more successful that leader will be.

Enhancing and developing greater awareness and application of Emotional Intelligence will have a significant impact on all aspects of your life, including more self-awareness and improved relationships with co-workers, family, friends and others who are significant in your life.  Leaders who improve their EI capabilities are able to decrease stress, personally and professionally, enhance interpersonal relationships, and demonstrate greater leadership and decision making skills.  Even more important, raising EI has a direct and positive effect on your level of consciousness.  When one raises their level of awareness, they raise their energy level and their consciousness.

Here are a few tips to improve leadership skills with greater Emotional Intelligence:

1. Begin by taking notice of how your thoughts affect your emotions, and how your emotions affect your actions.  Self-awareness is the key to beginning to shift your energy and increase your EI.  As you go through your day, be aware of how you react to situations, and what thoughts are going through your head as you do.  If someone cuts you off on the road, and your thought is, "What an idiot!" your resulting emotion would be anger.  If you think instead, "Wow, he must really be in a hurry to get someplace," your emotion would most likely be very different.  As you become more self-aware, you'll be able to identify what triggers your emotions.
 
2. Keep a Leadership Journal or notebook about areas to improve your awareness and expression of your emotions. What is working, and what is not working for you?  What relationships need improvement?  This step helps one commit as well as shows a progression of that change.
 
3. Journal about ways to manage and control your emotions.  What has been effective for you, and what has not?  How do you want to respond and how can you do so?
 
4. Each day, set your intention to be more aware of your thoughts/feelings and how they might affect you and/or others.
 
5. When a leadership struggle or situation causes you to be angry or upset, give yourself 5-10 minutes alone, prior to taking action.  Then ask yourself what would be the best way to address the situation.  Think about the energy level at which you would like to respond.  Taking a little break will help you respond as you would like, not just go with your 'knee-jerk' reaction.
 
6. Seek out others who will assist you (maybe a mentor), objectively, in providing observations of how they experience you expressing and /or managing/controlling your emotions within leadership situations.  You might be surprised at how others view you.
 
7. Tell others you want to increase your understanding of their thoughts and feelings and "check-in" with them periodically - this will help you become more aware of your perceptions as a leader versus the reality of their feelings.
 
8. After getting buy-in, think about offering feedback to those around you about their emotional awareness, expression and management.
 
9. Practice incorporating new leadership skills and behaviors and being aware of how others respond to you.
 
10. Interview others who demonstrate high EI and effective leadership techniques, to learn some of their strategies for responding to stressful situations.
 
11. If necessary, hire a professional coach.  Coaching is about an honest, trusting, open and committed partnership designed to help you reach your goals faster, more productively and you'll achieve greater balance in your work and life.

What resonated with you? What steps will you take to improve your EI?  Further comments at: brad@aperiocoaching.net

In Latin, Aperio means to reveal, uncover, to make clear. Coaching is a powerful process that enables the client to reveal and illuminate their authentic leadership style via a sharp focus on who they are at their core.   Coaching is a highly confidential, trusting and open process that empowers a client to:

1.      Increase their self awareness in order to,

2.     Facilitate greater conscious decision making, that

3.     Forwards their decisions into focused and organized action, and that

4.     Ties in the key component of accountability to measure progress